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Unkle Munky Pg 96
Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions. *Munky is also available here... ---- This week Munky is wearing his fake Rolex... Artist - Wiley. Song - Wearing my Rolex. *Click here to play... *Videos prone to removal. ---- Unkle Munky's Homework Corner. Karen from Dorset asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I am currently doing my math’s homework but cannot solve the following problem. Can you help? Q. Complete this popular phrase: Red sky at night…. Unkle Munky says -''' Dear Karen, This is a very tricky question indeed. I shall email you privately after a spot of research. ''Shepard's delight.'' 'Unkle Munky says -' No thanks, Mary. I’ve just had my lunch. ---- Measuring up. Hannah from Runcorn asks - Dear Unkle Munky, My fiancé has just informed me that he is planning to spend the summer measuring Penguins at a ‘Penguin measuring facility’ in Antarctica. Do you think he might be having an affair? 'Unkle Munky says -' What… with a penguin? Hannah replies - No! Not with a fuckin’ penguin! Oh forget it! Amy Knitwear was right. You really are shit at this agony business! ---- Introducing, Amy Knitwear. 'Unkle Munky says -' Who the fuc…? ---- Bungle Bear. Munky News. In the dog house. ---- Munky Leads the Way. Lee from Stoke asks - Dear Unkle Munky, What is the quickest way to Crewe? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Lee, Will you be going by car, bus or bicycle? Lee replies - I will be going by car, Unkle Munky. 'Unkle Munky says -' Yes, that’s the quickest way alright. ---- Lucy from Bedfordshire asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I think I might have an OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I have been cleaning my house all weekend and am just about to start vacuuming for the tenth time. What can I do? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Lucy, I have forwarded your details to every employment agency in the Bedfordshire area. I am more than confident that you will soon have enough cleaning jobs to last you a lifetime. Lucy replies - Oh fer fuck’s sake, Munky! ---- The Banal Brothers. ---- A Short Paws... A short paws whilst Munky contemplates the plight of a sexually harrassed ladybird... ---- Free at Last. Jody from Gateshead asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my mail regarding conjoined twins? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Jody, I did indeed receive said correspondence. I am happy to inform you that your recent fears are unfounded. It is quite common for exhausted parents to misjudge the deployment of mittens. *Russian Siamese twins, Dave and Sharon Williams, who were finally separated after an off-duty nurse noticed that a pair of tethered mittens had been accidentally placed on the hands of not one baby, but two. ---- Bungle's Barely News. Bungle Bear. Munky News. Leaving the seat up. ---- Unkle Munky's Archive (1942) ---- Ref. Archive bollocks. ''Dear Unkle Munky, How can you possibly claim to have an agony portfolio that stretches back to the forties!? You might be interested to note, incidentally, that full system restores were hardly an issue back then.'' 'Unkle Munky says -' Ahem. I would appreciate a little more support with regards to my work on this column, Ms. Sickness. I may have bent the truth slightly, but that does not give you the right to talk to me in such an offhand manner. Please remember who the Munky is around here! And now, if you do not mind, I have a lunch appointment with Vera Lynn. Good day! ''Mary adds - Oh fer god’s sake!' ---- Man on a Hill. ---- Next... Previous... Munky's Memos... Return to Munky Menu...